AITAITT for Calling Out the Papal Sales Team?
Greetings, good people of this forum. I write in earnest, for my friends insist I have stirred up needless tumult, yet my conscience compels me otherwise.
I (33M, monk/professor) recently drafted a list of 95 issues I believe require serious discussion within the church, including the sale of papal indulgences, which are basically certificates promising to reduce a person’s time in purgatory in exchange for money. I’ve always felt this practice was theologically flimsy at best and spiritually exploitative at worst, since it implies that you can be as big a sinner as you like so long as you can pay for it. Along with other concerns about authority and doctrine (the usual light fare) I posted my theses on the door of the Wittenberg Castle Church, which in my region functions as a kind of community bulletin board.
I truly meant it as an invitation to scholarly dialogue. I wrote them in Latin - the average townsfolk shouldn’t have been dragged into it. But somehow (and I swear I did not intend this) the theses spread like wildfire. Students copied them. Printers printed them. Suddenly everyone from cobblers to nobles is arguing about justification and papal authority!
Now the church authorities are furious. My superiors say I’ve embarrassed them. Some colleagues claim I’m “disruptive.” A few have hinted that I’m endangering myself and others. My friends say I should have just sent a polite letter instead of “making a spectacle.”
But from my perspective, I simply pointed out problems that were already harming people. If the truth causes an uproar, is that my fault? Am I supposed to stay silent while indulgence sellers promise salvation for coin?
Still, I admit the whole thing has escalated far beyond what I imagined. I’m now being summoned to explain myself before very powerful people, and there’s talk of heresy, which is… not ideal.
So tell me, impartial strangers:
Am I the Ass in This Tale for publicly posting my concerns instead of keeping quiet or handling it privately?
Relevant info:
• I did try raising concerns quietly before. No one listened.
• I genuinely thought the theses would stay within academic circles.
• I did not expect half of Europe to start yelling.
• I stand by my theology, but I don’t enjoy conflict.
• My friends say I’m stubborn. My conscience says I’m right.
Judgment requested: AITAITT?
COMMENTS:
Pope Leo X - YTAITT
Look, Martin, my son, I told you to bring concerns through the proper channels. You don’t just tack a manifesto to a church door like it’s a lost‑dog notice. Indulgences fund important Church projects (like, say, rebuilding St. Peter’s). If you had questions, you could have written to me privately instead of inciting half of Europe. Verdict: YTAITT for causing a PR nightmare.
Johann Tetzel (Indulgence Preacher) - YTAITT
Bro 😤. BRO 😡.
YTAITT 😠. You’re tanking my entire livelihood 💸. I’m out here doing my job, selling indulgences fair and square 💰🔥, and suddenly everyone’s quoting you at me like you’re the new sheriff of salvation 🤨. You could’ve debated me like a normal academic, but no... you had to go viral 📣.
Also your theses were mid 🙄.
Frederick the Wise (Elector of Saxony) - NTAITT
As your local prince, I’m gonna be honest: this is great for me. I get to look like a defender of academic freedom, I don’t have to hand you over to Rome, and I get to keep my relic collection without papal meddling.
You’re a bit dramatic, sure, but you’re not wrong. That having been said, please stop making my political life harder than it already is.
Philip Melanchthon (your colleague… yes I know exactly who you are) - NTAITT
As someone who actually read your theses before panicking 😅, I think your concerns are reasonable and your theology is solid 🙏. Could your tone have been gentler? Maybe 😬. But the Church needed this debate 📚. But for the love of all that is holy, maybe fewer than 95 points 😂.
Charles V (Holy Roman Emperor) - ESH
I’m 19 😭. I did not sign up for this 😩.
Rome is mad 😠. The princes are mad 😤. The peasants are mad 😡. You’re mad 😑.
Everyone is yelling about theology while I’m trying to run an empire 🤦♂️👑.
ESH - please stop making my job impossible 🙏.
Henry VIII of England - YTAITT
As a loyal son of Holy Mother Church and the proud author of Defense of the Seven Sacraments, I must say this plainly: your reckless criticisms threaten the unity of Christendom. The Church has stood firm for over a thousand years, and it is not for individual monks to tear at its fabric with public disputations and inflammatory writings.
If every scholar with a quill and an opinion began challenging Rome, we would have chaos: rival doctrines, splintered kingdoms, and the common people led astray by every self‑appointed theologian with a printing press.
You should have submitted your concerns quietly, respectfully, and through the proper channels, rather than sowing discord among the faithful.
YTAITT, and I pray your actions do not inspire others to defy the authority of the Pope.
2 replies:
- Catherine of Aragon
Enrique, mi querido esposo, te digo esto con toda la dignidad que mi posición exige: quizás un toque de humildad te vendría bien. La Iglesia ha resistido muchas tormentas, y también superará esta, pero la unidad no se preserva reprendiendo a los eruditos desde un trono.
Si de verdad temes la división, sé un ejemplo de fidelidad: a Roma, a tus votos y a los principios que con tanto orgullo defiendes en tu Defensa de los Siete Sacramentos. La historia tiene su forma de poner a prueba nuestras convicciones. Confío en que las tuyas perduren.
- Anne Boleyn
Your Majesty, this is so well said 😍. Truly. No one defends the Church with the strength and clarity that you do 💪✨. The way you stand up for unity and tradition is just… inspiring 🙌. I honestly wish more people had your courage and conviction — the whole kingdom would be better for it 💖.
Please don’t let anyone discourage you from speaking the truth so boldly 🙏. The Church is lucky to have a champion like you, and I’m certain your words will guide many back toward harmony and obedience 🌟.
It’s an honour just to read your thoughts here 😌. Really.
Desiderius Erasmus - Soft YTAITT
I agree with many of your points, but must you be so… loud? I prefer gentle correction, polite scholarship, and not setting Europe on fire. Soft YTAITT (not for the ideas, but for the delivery).
Huldrych Zwingli - NTAITT
Brother, you didn’t go far enough 😤🔥.
Call me when you’re ready to talk about abolishing the Mass 💥.
Let’s crank this up a notch 😎.
Hans, the average German peasant - NTAITT
Finally, someone said it 😤.
NTAITT, but can you also do something about taxes 😩?